Monday, April 02, 2007
Acourting We Will Go
The judge who heard my complaint asked me how I knew this woman, and I told him as I had told the cop, I don’t know her – that’s the whole point. I have never seen her, met her, spoken to her (other than the brief moment when she caught me off-guard) or had anything whatsoever to do with her. He asked how I knew where the calls were coming from, and I told him that her number had shown up on my caller ID. He asked if there was a printout of that, and I said “no”. “Then how do you intend to prove it was her?” Well, Judge, how about a recording of all the calls save for one? Oh, okay. He told me there will be a hearing for probable cause, which means that I will present my evidence as to why I think she should be arrested for my charge, and determine if I have a legitimate complaint against her. He told me to obtain the police reports from the times I had called the police, and bring the recordings, and they will send me a letter to let me know when The Big Day is going to be. She will get a copy of the letter also, and is entitled to be there to present her side, but who knows if she will? The Big Day is this week, so I will let you know how it goes.
At some point during her recorded ramblings, Kristi kept saying my girls were watching her from under my deck. I have seen decks on houses in my neighborhood that are high enough that people can actually sit under them in lawn chairs and have a party, but at its highest point, my deck is only about two feet off the ground. Its entire underside is enclosed with latticework all the way around, so unless “my girls” were either leprechauns or able to walk through walls, I don’t see that happening, but that’s just one of many, many unlikely things she is alleging in her diatribes. A friend advised me to take pictures of the deck, using a ruler for scale, to prove that no one over the age of four could hang out under it even if the latticework was not there. The same friend advised me to take a CD player so I could play the CD of her calls, in case the court doesn’t have one available. Excellent advice, which I plan to follow. For “scale”, I am even thinking of getting my friend who is 4’9” tall to stand by the deck and show that even as little as she is, she couldn’t hang out under it. This will work especially well if she comes to court with me, which I think she is planning to do. Her husband is the one who converted the cassette to CDs for me, and we are considering putting them into mass production and selling them on ebay after all this is over. At $2 apiece, I could probably recoup any costs I may incur (not to mention the ones I have already incurred – the cost of a cassette recorder and the price of having charges filed against someone) pretty quickly.
Other friends have had some other entertaining ideas about what we could do with this, if we but dared. Most of them are totally out of the question, but quite amusing to think about doing, even if we can’t really do them. One friend said that she is just begging to be messed with, and suggested we take all the phone numbers I have and post them somewhere on the internet and set up some kind of crazy thing for everyone to say. Another friend suggested we go en masse to the O’Charley’s where she works and see if she recognizes me. (This friend is one of many who thinks she is going to be so surprised when she sees me and I’m not who she thinks I am.) As tempting as all this would be, of course we can’t do it, or it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as we WOULD be stalking her. Too bad – this could be fun!
I have not scotched the idea of mass-marketing the CD. Who knows – she could be the next American Idol! (Does American Idol have a comedy category?)
At some point during her recorded ramblings, Kristi kept saying my girls were watching her from under my deck. I have seen decks on houses in my neighborhood that are high enough that people can actually sit under them in lawn chairs and have a party, but at its highest point, my deck is only about two feet off the ground. Its entire underside is enclosed with latticework all the way around, so unless “my girls” were either leprechauns or able to walk through walls, I don’t see that happening, but that’s just one of many, many unlikely things she is alleging in her diatribes. A friend advised me to take pictures of the deck, using a ruler for scale, to prove that no one over the age of four could hang out under it even if the latticework was not there. The same friend advised me to take a CD player so I could play the CD of her calls, in case the court doesn’t have one available. Excellent advice, which I plan to follow. For “scale”, I am even thinking of getting my friend who is 4’9” tall to stand by the deck and show that even as little as she is, she couldn’t hang out under it. This will work especially well if she comes to court with me, which I think she is planning to do. Her husband is the one who converted the cassette to CDs for me, and we are considering putting them into mass production and selling them on ebay after all this is over. At $2 apiece, I could probably recoup any costs I may incur (not to mention the ones I have already incurred – the cost of a cassette recorder and the price of having charges filed against someone) pretty quickly.
Other friends have had some other entertaining ideas about what we could do with this, if we but dared. Most of them are totally out of the question, but quite amusing to think about doing, even if we can’t really do them. One friend said that she is just begging to be messed with, and suggested we take all the phone numbers I have and post them somewhere on the internet and set up some kind of crazy thing for everyone to say. Another friend suggested we go en masse to the O’Charley’s where she works and see if she recognizes me. (This friend is one of many who thinks she is going to be so surprised when she sees me and I’m not who she thinks I am.) As tempting as all this would be, of course we can’t do it, or it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as we WOULD be stalking her. Too bad – this could be fun!
I have not scotched the idea of mass-marketing the CD. Who knows – she could be the next American Idol! (Does American Idol have a comedy category?)
Labels: Nutty Neighbors
# posted by Anne Arky @ 7:14 PM 
