Saturday, March 08, 2008
Blame Validation
After my sister and her husband finally got back to Mother’s house (remember they were stuck in Florida for days after Mother died), they found Mother’s walker, BOTH her canes and her nebulizer. I’m not exactly sure what a nebulizer is, but it’s some kind of lung treatment that is like an inhaler to the tenth power or something – something she used when she was REALLY out of breath – and it was a machine with medicine that had to be loaded into it and something she could only use at home. Because they were short on room in the car and because they were in such an all-fired hurry, they left all that behind. Like I said, they took her down to Florida and killed her.
Please know that I didn’t begrudge my mother a trip to Florida. On the contrary, I wanted her to go, and I pretty much wanted and expected her to spend the winter down there. She was so excited about the trip, and according to people in her town I spoke to at her funeral, it was all she talked about for weeks prior. But I wanted her to use some common sense about it and see to her health in the process. Common sense was something else that probably wouldn’t have fit in the car, so I guess they left that back at her house.
My sister has it in her head that Mother’s death was a deliberate thing on her (Mother’s) behalf because she had been in quite a lot of pain with her shoulder (she had fallen into the corner of her stove last summer and hurt it) and she had galloping osteoporosis that was causing lots of little breaks in her backbone causing her more pain. Also, even though she was bound and determined not to follow the example of my aunt and my grandmother when their respective spouses died and just sit down and wait to die to be with them, and she was determined to build as much of a life as was possible without Daddy, plainly and simply, she just missed him. A hell of a lot. After 57 years, how could she not? So my sister thinks that Mother had a plan to just thumb her nose at the world and the fates and go to Florida to die. I personally think that’s so much bullshit and that Mother never would have done that to us, but whatever it takes to get you through the night, I guess…. I’m still quite convinced that they just took her down to Florida and killed her. (Third verse, same as the first.)
Please know that I didn’t begrudge my mother a trip to Florida. On the contrary, I wanted her to go, and I pretty much wanted and expected her to spend the winter down there. She was so excited about the trip, and according to people in her town I spoke to at her funeral, it was all she talked about for weeks prior. But I wanted her to use some common sense about it and see to her health in the process. Common sense was something else that probably wouldn’t have fit in the car, so I guess they left that back at her house.
My sister has it in her head that Mother’s death was a deliberate thing on her (Mother’s) behalf because she had been in quite a lot of pain with her shoulder (she had fallen into the corner of her stove last summer and hurt it) and she had galloping osteoporosis that was causing lots of little breaks in her backbone causing her more pain. Also, even though she was bound and determined not to follow the example of my aunt and my grandmother when their respective spouses died and just sit down and wait to die to be with them, and she was determined to build as much of a life as was possible without Daddy, plainly and simply, she just missed him. A hell of a lot. After 57 years, how could she not? So my sister thinks that Mother had a plan to just thumb her nose at the world and the fates and go to Florida to die. I personally think that’s so much bullshit and that Mother never would have done that to us, but whatever it takes to get you through the night, I guess…. I’m still quite convinced that they just took her down to Florida and killed her. (Third verse, same as the first.)
# posted by Anne Arky @ 5:04 PM 
